shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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