So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
