We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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