grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Randomize
