she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
