he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
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