I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
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Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
i've created a new STD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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