What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize