well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
