remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
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