perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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