So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
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