I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize