Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
You can't just leave with hair like that
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got inside last night via doggy door
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize