I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
