She went from zero to smokin in five shots
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize