you guys were way drunker than both of me
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
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My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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