I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
