That's intense
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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