U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
