its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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