I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize