Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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