I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
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You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
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The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
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