you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
