; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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