sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
i drank out of a bidet.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
