Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Is her dick bigger than yours?
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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