I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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