If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
