so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
