I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
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