Do you still have your period?
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
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she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
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Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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