Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize