Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
