He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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