I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
