rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
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