If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
