I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
