can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
