a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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