Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
