ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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