what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
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Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
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