Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Your cock deserves a montage
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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