any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
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