I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
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