chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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