Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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