I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
