Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I think I just shit out all my problems.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
