finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
