we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
