you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
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so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
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I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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