there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
