i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
