Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize