don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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