btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
